To Mothers whose daughters love women like me:
I am not the man you envisioned or the husband you dreamt of. I understand there are parts no matter how small that exist within you that never pictured someone like me. I am not him - whatever the masculine figure you prayed for.
I am soft, kind, feminine, open, generous, honest, thoughtful, reliable, and most importantly
I am worthy.
I am worthy of love and gratitude.
I am not a consolation prize for your family
I have spent an entirely unfair amount of time thinking of ways to make myself seen in your eyes
to find an avenue to walk on that leads me to your approval but I know that this isn’t my journey or my struggle.
it is yours and on days my legs feel heavy it feels like it is ours
I’ve thought of all the ways I would explain to you that I am just as valuable as any other - I could tell you all of the accomplishments in my life to impress you but I circle myself back to my roots and remember that just as I am - A woman in love with your daughter is enough. A woman is enough.
Heteronormativity has taught you that life must look a certain way - it has taught you to accept men in whatever condition they come in just because they are men. I wonder if you would be as critical of him as you are of me. I wonder if I could walk in toxic masculinity without as much trouble as I do when I come in carrying my femininity on my lips.
Heteronormativity has taught you that I am not adequate
It has taught you that as I am will never be enough and I can’t compete with that -
I do not walk in my glory to be the embodiment rebuttal of arguments set against me by systems not qualified to pick me apart
I am a woman
a learning woman
a woman who’s love knows no bounds -
I have covered your daughter in love that fills
a love that does not ask for more than it is given.
I am worthy of your respect and honor -worth way more than simple approval based on not having a choice - I am you
I am made from you and just as you are - just as I am
we are worthy
women have apologized for far too long for being
exactly who we are
When you reject me you reject yourself
and that is not my burden to carry.